And Life Goes On...

Well, it's been a few weeks again.

I have an excuse for this week .... sorta. I cut my finger and typing is somewhat of a challenge at the moment. You wouldn't believe how often I'm backspacing!! Just add another challenge to my life to keep it interesting lol.

I've noticed my days have become much fuller. I actually have places to go some days. Especially Thursdays. Temple in the morning, babysitting in the afternoon, and my 12-step group at night.

I am really glad I decided to go to that group again. I think it is helping me to let go of some distrust.

I wish I could write more now, but I think the girls are tearing my livingroom apart... it does not sound good.....

Of Consequences....

I went to see the new Narnia movie this week.... then I went again. I love all the movies, but I think The Voyage of The Dawn Treader is the best so far. I sure hope Disney finishes out the series.

I love the way C.S. Lewis tells the story of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in such a wonderful and magical way. Several things struck me from the movie, things that have caused me to pause and reflect on my own life, my own story. I will talk about one of them here.

There are four children that find a way into a magical world called Narnia. It is Lucy, the youngest, that first discovers Narnia, and they go on to become very important to this new world. They have several adventures and learn great lessons along the way.

In The Voyage of The Dawn Treader, Lucy is jealous of her older sister, Susan. She thinks Susan is beautiful and wants to be like her. She finds a spell that will make her look like Susan, so in secret, when no one is looking, she recites the spell and she transforms into the image of her older sister.

She finds herself being Susan, but soon discovers that in doing what she did, she erased Lucy. Because she no longer existed, her brothers no longer knew anything about Narnia, because Lucy was the one who first discovered it. Her selfish act affected more than just herself, it had far reaching consequences on those around her as well.

As she realizes her mistake she is able to become herself again, only to be asked by Aslan, "Lucy. what did you do?"

She answers him that she didn't know, she only wanted to be beautiful. She did not think all the other things would happen.

Isn't that true of all selfish acts? We think we are only affecting ourselves, in secret, and don't consider the far reaching consequences that ricochet off ourselves and cause damage to those around us.

That is what I have been struggling with... The effects of other's selfish decisions. One of those ricocheting pieces has grown into resentments in me, and festered into a rather large boil. I want very much to drain that boil, and heal those scars.

This has been my prayer for months... to be able to trust again. I have felt that prayer being answered in small pieces that I have been able to put together inside myself and integrate into my being.

Something else I did this last week was read a book called "He Restoreth My Soul: Understanding And Breaking The Chemical And Spiritual Chains Of Pornography Addiction Through The Atonement Of Jesus Christ" by Donald L Hilton Jr., M.D.

I think having that book recommended to me was another answer to this prayer. In it I found hope that those scars can be completely healed. I did believe it before, but this book gave me the ability to let that belief go deeper. The Atonement works. There are no scars it cannot heal. There is no sin, that if applied, it cannot erase.

I know I am going to be okay.

I highly recommend this book to everyone, because porn is so prevalent we cannot escape it. We are all affected. Our children WILL BE EXPOSED. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to educate ourselves about it so that we can protect our families as much as humanly possible. And with that, also educate ourselves about the miracle of the Atonement. Without the Atonement, healing simply is not possible... It is truly the only way.

Does The Date Matter?

Today is a day to give thanks for the miraculous birth, life, sacrifice, and triumph of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Today is not the only day to do this, but it is the day the world recognizes our wonderful Friend and Redeemer's birth.

Although tradition chooses to make December 25th this day of recognition, history and fact place His divine birth in the spring. For me, the date really doesn't matter nearly as much as the fact that it actually happened. He really was born in the meridian of time, when the world was prepared in advance to receive Him. Man may not have received him well, but the earth was ready, and His purposes were ALL fulfilled.

He came to save us from ourselves. We, the stubborn, headstrong, weak (yet falsely believe we are strong), naive (yet believe we are wise), beings who stumble around on this earth.

To me, every day is a day to celebrate His birth, His life, and His ultimate Gift. He gave us His Atonement. He gave us His Redemption. He gave us the ability to bring our broken lives to Him and in return receive His Wholeness and Perfection.

I have made huge mistakes in my life. I have suffered the consequences of those mistakes. I know now that I did not suffer the full weight of those consequences, because His divine love sustained me through those dark times. Were I to have been left alone I would have crushed and disappeared under the burden. But I didn't, because despite my mistakes, His love is stronger than any power of darkness. His love pierces the corners, the crevices, the deep, dark holes in our souls that we try so desperately to hide from and in.

It is in the hiding that we suffer.

It is my prayer for you and for me, that we will open our hearts even more, starting today. That the love of The Man Of Peace will penetrate more deeply, more fully, and more lastingly. That we will allow His love to destroy our hiding places, so that the darkness will find no place to dwell.

I know without doubt or reservation that He lives. I know His power is real, His love is real, and His Peace is real. I also know that following Him is the only real thing I want to do. I know that when I fall off His path, and I do and will again, that His hands are reaching for me to help me stand back up and reconcile with Him yet again.

I know that He loves me, and He loves you.

May He know that I love him back.

And The Winner Is...

I would like to say Thank You to all those who participated in my "read my blog and comment for a chance to win a Target gift card" drawing.

I'm sorry I didn't keep up with daily postings, I was under the weather most of this week and didn't do much of anything.

Well, it is now Christmas Eve.

I am feeling much better today and even managed to do some baking and delivered some presents.

Then I put all the names in a bowl and drew out one piece of folded paper.

The name on that piece of paper was:


Fawn


Congratulations!!

Now, I've been thinking of doing this again. I can't afford the $25 gift card every month or so, but I can do 2 movie tickets to Cinemark, Regal, or AMC. These are 2 adult tickets good for non-starred attractions. The next drawing will be on March 1st, so be sure to keep coming back often and leave your comments.

Whoever leaves 2 comments tonight or tomorrow will get their name put in twice!! Leave 2 comments both days and get entered 4 times! Just leave a comment on two different postings of at least 6 words each, each day, and I will enter you twice. This is good only for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, 2010.

Thank you again and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Merry Christmas Adam!!

Merry Christmas Adam to everyone!!