I have returned...
Oh how I have missed being able to sit down to my computer and just be me.
The good news is I have finally been able to complete a much dreaded task that has loomed over my head and placed weight on my shoulders for a year.
When I moved from Mesa a year ago, there wasn't enough room in my step-dad's truck and the rented 12 foot trailer to bring all my belongings back with me. I had to leave some things behind. All my power tools for a few, including a fantastically terrific table saw that folds and rolls for storage. It was a birthday present a few years ago. Also some bookshelves, some food storage, a fair sized plastic outdoor storage shed, my file cabinet and some odds and ends. I really stressed out having to leave them behind, not because I am materialistic and morbidly attached to my "stuff", but because it meant I would have to make another trip back there and get them.
Chris agreed to store them for me until I could return. I told him he could use whatever he was able until then, and I am glad he took me up on my offer. It made me feel less guilty for continuing to occupy space at his house.
I suppose it shouldn't have weighed so heavy on me, but it did. At the time I didn't know HOW I was going to go back and get it. Driving those 3 days by myself would have been a bigger task than I think I am able to do. I figured I would fly out and rent a small u-haul truck, both with money I really didn't have. Then drive as far as I could each night and hope it only took me 3 days.
But my step-dad (Clay) again came to my rescue. He offered to make the drive again and despite a delay, we were able to begin the trip a little over a week ago. I had flown back to Montana on the 12th and spent a few weeks visiting, then we headed for Arizona.
We stopped and visited with family along the way. Clay's cousin and my brother in Utah, and my grandmother in California. All in all, the trip turned out ok. It did get shortened by several days because my step-sister became very ill and became hospitalized, and Clay really wanted to be able to be there for her. We are relieved that she is feeling much better now and is back home.
I really didn't relax until the truck was loaded and we realized there was no need to rent another trailer. Relieved is an understatement. In fact, there was room to spare. All that fretting for no reason.
Why can't we know before the fact what the outcome will be afterwards??? Life would be so much easier. Or would it? How would our lives be different if we could see the future 5... 10.... 20 years down the road? Would we make the same mistakes or create a whole new batch of different mistakes?
I suppose I am human enough that I would just choose a different, but equally as stupid, set of mistakes. Isn't that as life is?
Anyway, I am glad to be home and to have my stuff tucked away in my storage garage and my apartment. I left just one week after Tiffany moved out, so I still haven't been able to get settled. Even though I didn't move, it feels like it, as I am now able to slowly get my belongings out of storage. Danny and I made 3 trips to the garage right before I left, and loaded the car with his things. There are still boxes in the living room.
I wonder if by the time we are finally settled, will it be time to move again?? Oh how I miss having my own home, settled, and roots planted....
5 months ago