Thursday, June 24, 2010

"Pretending To Be Normal"

I just finished watching the movie "Adam". It is about a man with Asperger's Syndrome. Asperger's Syndrome is in the Autism spectrum, on the mild side. In some ways people with Asperger's are very high functioning... just not in the social skills department. The character Adam in the story reminded me a lot of my Bobby.

The female character in the story is Beth, an elementary school teacher. The school psychologist gives her a book called "Pretending To Be Normal". That is a very good description of Bobby. He has become very good at pretending to know things he does not understand. People think he understands more than he does. He has learned to hide it very well.

When Bobby gets going on a subject, it is hard to get him to stop. He is especially interested in video games, movie production, and Japanese animation. Those are things he knows about, to the tiniest little detail. He can quote dates of movie releases, birthdates of producers, the cast list. He knows that kind of stuff really well. He just can't understand why it is not right to say rude things or to lie. He thinks it is only bad if you get caught. If you don't get caught, then you weren't bad.

Unlike Adam, my Bobby will probably never hold down a meaningful job. That makes me sad. My heart's wish is for all my children to be able to feel they are capable and productive. Unfortunately there are some aspects of Bobby's autism that prevent him from being able to interact with the public, so finding a job he could do is greatly limited.

My heart is feeling kinda heavy right now. I do not know what the future holds for Bobby.

I am grateful to know that someday, when this world is made anew, that my Bobby will be too. His mind will not always be clouded with immature emotions. Someday he will be able to shine forth to his full capacity.

For Bobby's sake... for all our sakes... I hope that time comes soon.

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