I really haven't known what to write.
My life is changing in wonderful ways and although I am not superstitious, I'm afraid to jinx it....
No, there is no jinx.
When I finally decided to get over the facial hair, I found an incredible friend in my Montana Mountain Man. What is really interesting to me is that the facial hair seems a perk to me now. I like it....
My mother laughs at me.
I didn't like kissing either of my husbands when they grew facial hair. It was prickly and I just didn't like it. My mother tried to tell me that with the right man it can be really nice... I didn't believe her.
You know what they say.... mother knows what she is talking about.
I have found an honorable man. I'm not wearing rose colored glasses, he is not perfect. But even the things that might come up as red flags are really only yellow. Each thing I see that I think might be a problem, he has already identified as something in himself he wants to change. In fact, he is already working on them, as I am working on mine.
A few months ago I was sad that I was still alone. I prayed and prayed for my Heavenly Father to help me. I did not want to meet someone online... been there... done that... not an option. I did not want to go to the singles meetings and try to meet someone there. Sorry guys, but a lot of them are also online. I just didn't want to make the same mistake again.
So I prayed that Heavenly Father would put me in the path of an honorable man. Over this past year he must have been shaking his head. I can hear it now.
"SANDY!! You already know him... Get over yourself and quit resisting!"
What a dumb thing that facial hair kept me from looking into his eyes. He has tender eyes. I look in them and his love for me reflects back. To have love back in my life... for real this time... is a truly wonderful thing.
We will not be rich... we are both disabled... He has MS and I have Fibromyalgia. But we can make it work. I see brightness in the future.
Did I mention he does not look at porn? He finds it disgusting and degrading and embarrassing. He rarely even goes on the computer or internet...With the hurts I have had, I need someone like that.
We are taking our time. We want to make sure we are fully informed about each other, and the limitations we are each taking on. But we have promised commitment to each other, and for now that is enough.
One thing I am finding I really admire is his wisdom. I get glimpses of it and I am in awe that this somewhat rough looking guy is also tender and wise. He is what I need, and I am glad I finally decided quit resisting and look at what was in front of me all along.
I guess all that counseling has finally paid off. I give the credit for that to my Heavenly Father too. Without His help, the counseling would have been a waste.
10 months ago