Wednesday, February 16, 2011


Sickies... sickies... go away!!!

I really don't want to play today!!!

My tummy hurts... my head, it throbs...

I'm tired and dizzy and feel like a blob...

So sickies... sickies... go away!!!

Don't come back... I don't want to play.

Friday, February 11, 2011

One Of Those Days.... on Steriods....

Today was an incredibly emotional day that did not go as planned...

We had it all figured out. Danny had a policy with a roadside assistance company through his bank account. He had signed up over two years ago and made the monthly payments every month. The policy provided for 5 tows a year at 150 miles per tow. We finally found a mechanic through a friend's referral, and although he was about 45 miles away, we figured the tow would be covered by the roadside assistance policy. The friend had called in a favor and the mechanic had agreed to take care of us as inexpensively as possible.

Danny called the roadside assistance company yesterday to request new cards. He had lost his and he wanted me to have one too. Although the phone connection was not the greatest, the person on the other end confirmed what he was asking.

Today he called back to order the tow, and to his surprise, the account had been canceled the day before. Try as he might, they would not take responsibility for their mistake. The best they would offer was a $63 premium refund... and a reinstatement that would require a 30 day waiting period before a tow would be covered.

Danny was livid.....

I sat at my desk and cried....

Would this nightmare ever go away???

Tonight we are calmer. A man from our ward is coming over around noon to take a look. He is a mechanic and will do his best to figure it out. I haven't paid my bills yet, so there is some money in the bank. Danny will be able to buy what parts are needed, I hope, and then Michelle and John have agreed to loan Danny whatever it cost and he will put it back into my account so I can pay my bills.

If this doesn't work, because the problem is bigger than we thought, then he will research to see if he can find a flat tow fee from Beaverton to Keiser for less than $175.00, and we will have it towed to our friend's mechanic on Monday.

We are praying it will be properly diagnosed and fixed tomorrow, and that we have enough money to cover it.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Is It Spring Yet??

I took a walk with a new friend today. It is such a beautiful day. Still chilly at 50 degrees, but the sun is shinning, the sky is blue, and it felt good to be outside.

Slowly things are coming together. The car still isn't fixed, but I have others helping to get it resolved now. I'm not carrying it alone anymore. My biggest concern is that it will be towed by the complex before we are able to get a mechanic at it.

Every day I feel a little better. I will be so glad - and grateful - when this whole peri-menopausal thing is in the past...... way in the past. For now I still take it a day at a time, reach out to a few safe people to help me get my feet back on the ground, and pray for it to be over. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love the springtime. I missed this season the most when I lived in Arizona. In Arizona there are just two seasons.... hot.... and not quite hot, but close.... Actually, it has been known to be in the 40's at night, but then, with few days to acclimate, it climbs to the 80's, 90's, and beyond. mostly it is just plain HOT!!!!

Here in Oregon, there are definitely seasons. When it rains it smells good afterwards. The sun feels good on your face, like it is kissing you. The breezes bring a bounty of smells together and you feel good just for being there.

It is going to turn out okay. Someday this whole car nightmare will be just that... an old nightmare. it's okay to start practicing the smiles again.....

God is Good....

Monday, February 7, 2011

Am I Getting Old???

Being weepy is just getting so old. So are these stupid hormone fluctuations...But I guess that is part of the problem. I am getting old. I don't want to, but it is happening anyway.

I used to smile at my birthdays. Age didn't matter. I think I didn't realize that someday I would wake up and my age would catch up with me.

It has...

I went to the store on Saturday. I decided to do something to help me to feel better. I have, off and on, used products to take care of my skin. I haven't used anything for several years. It is time to correct that oversight.

So I bought a few products geared towards anti-aging, skin firming, and wrinkle reduction. I have been blessed that I don't have that many wrinkles.... yet. At least not unless I smile. I do get wrinkles around my eyes when I smile.

But I am beginning to get that saggy cheek look. You know, where older people have their cheeks defined by a line running down from their nose to the corner of the mouth? I noticed it beginning to form a few months ago.

So I used the products. I said to Danny yesterday morning as we were walking to church (car still not working), that I know it is all in my head, but I think I already see improvement. He looked at me and smiled... He looked at me closer... He said he didn't think it was all in my head. He said my skin looked smoother and more even. He made my day!!

I hope this does work, that I am able to stave off the inevitable for at least a few more years. Someday I will have to just face it, I'm getting old....

But I really don't want to face it today....

Thursday, February 3, 2011

More of Life Going On.....

I'm afraid I'm having a hard time coming onto this blog and focusing my thoughts. I suppose you've noticed (tongue in cheek).

I feel like my life has been on a rollercoaster for so long, I'm not sure how to get off.

The car got fixed, then promptly began another problem. It literally died going 55mpg on the inside lane on a 3 lane freeway. The engine simply stopped. Traffic was moderately heavy. I said a quick prayer and moved over. After crossing over the other two lanes, I was successful in pulling off onto the roadside. I am very grateful for cell phones.

We had to be towed home. Another $73 I did not have had to be spent to get this car back to my apartment complex, where the rule is... no non-working vehicles allowed. At least it sorta worked before, now nothing.

I really don't need this stress.

But on a brighter note, my male relationship issues seem to be improving. At least I was able to enjoy an evening playing Catan with my son and a friend without vertigo returning or loss of breath. Both happened the first time the friend came over. Geeze, why do we make things so hard on ourselves???

Tiffany has been very sick, so I have been taking care of her girls. She was put on bedrest. I took the girls to the store with me on Monday. I only had to get a few things, so I thought an hour at the most... Two and a half hours later we finally got back to my apartment!! My thoughts were "HOW DID I DO IT WITH SIX KIDS IN TOW???"

I saw my kid's dad today... sometimes nothing changes...

I am grateful for prayer. I am grateful when I feel like nothing is going right, like I am digging a hole so deep I will never see the light of day again, that my perception is wrong. Prayer works... Comfort comes... Peace settles in.

Thank you Lord, for being there every time I reach out.

Thank you Lord, for being there even when I don't.