As a young mother I used to dream of time spent alone. I yearned for it, and rarely got it. There were always little ones around, mouths to feed, diapers to change, fights to stop or owies to kiss.
But I'm not a young mother anymore...
It is interesting, I have found through the years that those things I thought for sure that I wanted and desired so badly turned out to be much less than I thought.
Being in a quiet house is not all it's cracked up to be.
On a different note, I just finished reading "The Overton Window" by Glenn Beck... Scary book... I agree with the author, that I hope it is far more fiction than fact.
I find comfort in reading the scriptures. There is stability there, there is evidence of the strength of God. There is evidence all around us, but in the scriptures it is in print. There is too much chaos and evil in print too, and on the airwaves, and in the minds and hearts of people walking the streets and driving the freeways. This world is certainly not an Eden.
I know the Lord is coming, I have no doubt it will happen someday, and that day will not be too far off. I just wish at times that it were all over, and the peace would be here at last. I do not think that those who are in power, on every level, are really all that interested in peace. Power and money seem to be more of an objective.
Why does this sound a lot like my first marriage??? Not that there was a lot of money, there wasn't. But I didn't have power either. I was what has been coined as a "married single", all the responsibility with none of the power... or money I might add.
I guess I'm feeling kinda down again. I need my heart to grab a hold on some positives. Mainly, I think it could all be summed up to one thing.... again, lack of money.
I have enough to get by, but there is so much more I would like to do... If I owned my own home, then Danny could move in with me and he could keep his dog (even though I'm not particularly fond of her, he is). I want so much to be a safe haven for my children, I always did, but I don't think I have been able to fulfill that desire very well.
Danny has been staying with me for a few weeks. He needs to find a place of his own, but money for him is also tight. And he has a dog. The dog isn't here now, it is with Bridgette, but she (the dog) misses him and this needs to be resolved.
I guess I didn't touch on too many positives did I?
Bridgette would tell me to "Fill My Cup". I would tell me to trust God. Those are two very good pieces of advice and I think I will take them both.
6 months ago