Monday, March 21, 2011

Is There Someone Out There Who Is Real and Trustable??????

My heart has been all over the place.

I met someone I liked.... alot. I thought he liked me, the little signs were there. The way he looked at me.... intense.... He came over twice and had dinner and played games with me and Danny. He loved my cooking and compared my cooking twice to his mother. He said he hadn't eaten that good since he left home. He invited us to his place for a bar-b-que when the car was fixed. He was going to come over and make fish tacos for us using my kitchen. He said he really enjoyed coming over. He wanted to do it again.

It was going slow, but I figured he was being cautious, I know I was. I had prayed soon after my divorce that if I ever had the opportunity to have a relationship again that it would go slowly and cautiously..I figured that what was happening was an answer to that prayer. He was a friend of Danny's and Danny had wanted to introduce me to him for almost 2 years! But he was waiting til I was ready. We were introduced last October.

A few weeks ago he told Danny he wanted to talk to him. We thought he was going to see if it was okay with Danny if he asked me out. He was after all, Danny's friend first.

What a shocker.... he told Danny he met a woman online recently and was engaged to marry her in a month!! So fast, so .... so..... so not wise.

My head was reeling.... did I misunderstand his signals? Danny saw the same ones. No, the signals were there, but now I question if he knew he was sending them..... RED FLAGS WAVING.

There were other red flags too, but I wondered if it was just because of nervousness. I discussed them with Danny, so I did not keep them to myself. I asked him to watch for them too. We have spent many a night discussing this situation.

I met my 2nd husband online. It was a fast relationship, way too fast. There were tons of red flags that I ignored. We know the outcome of that one. When you don't give yourself time to get to know someone, how can you know if it will work? Add age and experience to it, and you are mixing a recipe for disaster.

I am praying for this man. Not because I am interested anymore, but because marriage is such a HUGE decision and will impact many people for the rest of their lives. And because he was a man my son had found to trust.....

Even Danny has changed his mind. His friend is no longer in that trust role.

There is a lot more to this, that I do not feel to say. The details are not important here. Suffice it to say, we see an unhealthy marriage about to be solidified.

My heart will recover. Luckily, it didn't get too deeply involved. I need to trust my Heavenly Father more now than ever, because I really don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. I want the blessings that come from sharing, growing, changing, and becoming a true partnership. I have a lot of love to give, and no one to give it to.

Are there any single men out there that are real and trustable? There has to be, I have to keep believing there are.

Heavenly Father, please find one for me...


  1. keep trusting
    and remember no one is perfect
    pray for the guy-he's gonna need it "/
    I will keep praying for God go send you your help meet k?

  2. I'm sorry, Mom. I know how you feel about people rushing into decisions, especially of this magnitude. He may not be done healing himself to see what it is he is doing. The adversary gets people anyway he can- and works extra hard when he sees you doing the right things. I think this is one of those times. Hang in there. I love you:)