Wednesday, June 15, 2011

As Soon As I Reach the Top of One Mountain, I See Another...

Do you ever get so overwhelmed with life that you just want to say "I've had enough! Can I go home now?" I seem to be in that place an awful lot lately over the past several years.

Bridgette, Bobby, and I went to SSA this morning. That's the Social Security Administration for those lucky few who have never had direct dealings with them. Since Bobby has moved back in with me, we needed to get his case transferred over to my area. I was dreading it. In the past my experience with SSA has been hours of waiting; a stern, cold worker who mostly grunted; and getting chewed out at least once in the interview for not having followed some rule I didn't know anything about because it was a new rule since the last time I had gone in and gotten chewed out.

Today was different. In just an hour we were done! And the worker was..... get this.... smiling and pleasant! I had made one mistake, and he didn't chew me out.... in fact, he said it was no big deal. I didn't know that Bobby could have no legal access to the bank account, I thought it had to be in his name. So I had to go back to the bank and get a payee account set up. We are changing banks because of problems with the old bank. The new bank was a breeze too.....we were on a roll today!

So why am I feeling overwhelmed? Because this was only part of it. I still need to get a guardianship set up.... at least I think I do. I keep going back and forth on this issue. There are pro/cons to both sides of it. I really don't know what to do, and when I start thinking about it too much, an anxiety attack begins. This is taking skill now to be writing about it without my heart wanting to beat itself out of my chest and my head spinning from hyperventilation.

Breathe Sandy..... Breathe.......

Does anyone out there know about these things? I've become practically paralyzed by it. Paperwork has always been an issue for me, and considering I have dealt so much with SSA, you would think I've done my lifetime allotment of it. But there is always more. I don't even seem to be able to pick up a phone to make an appointment with an attorney.... I panic instead.

Is it to Bobby's advantage for me to do this? Is it something good for me to do for me? How is he best protected? Can I be hurt by doing this more than he would be protected? Is there so much continual paperwork to be submitted yearly that I would get buried? (I was told today by someone who has been a guardian that the courts require a lot of documentation on a yearly basis).

Oh, how I wish I could lock us up in some protective cocoon and just live out our lives in peace. Just dealing with regular daily stuff is hard enough, why do I keep getting monkey wrenches thrown in?...... Okay, so today I dealt pretty good with the monkey wrench (bank account error). I really don't have to do anything

Just Breathe Sandy.....

1 comment:

  1. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming... what do we do- we swim, swim." Awww, Dori. You tell it like it is.