Thursday, August 18, 2011

This Time I'm Leading.....

I really need to do a better job at remembering what it is that I think I want to write about. I'm suffering from a major case of blank brain syndrome..... focus is becoming rather difficult.

The weather has been nice this summer. Not too hot. Even during my last trip to Montana. We got back last Friday. Mom keeps telling me it is unusual for the roadsides to be so green. I've been there 3 times over the last year or so, and each time she has said that to me.

Maybe I'm a good luck charm?

I think I may go back again really soon.... I think I may have left something behind.

But if I go back, the rest of it may find a new home there too....

Why is life.... and matters of the heart..... so complicated???

And why is it the Montana Mountain Man doesn't frighten me anymore????

I ordered a movie on Netflix when I left so it would be here when we got back. It was recommended by two different friends. It is called "Fireproof" and it a fantastic movie! I watched it the day after we returned. A few days later I was in church and my bishop's wife was teaching the Relief Society lesson. She mentioned having watched "Fireproof" on tv the night before and recommended it too... A lot of women in the room chimed in what a good movie it was. It is about love, marriage, and putting God right smack dab in the middle of it all. It presents an idea, a challenge... A Love Dare... I would like to quote a part of it:

"If you accept this dare, you must take the view that instead of following your heart, you are choosing to lead it. The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is. The Bible says that “the heart is deceitful above all things,” and it will pursue that which feels right at the moment.

We dare you to think differently, and to choose to lead your heart toward that which is best in the long run. This is a key to lasting, fulfilling relationships.

That movie, and the Love Dare, has left me pondering. I have followed my heart before.... and it left me shattered. I'd been afraid to open my heart back up, afraid it would happen again. It never occurred to me that the problem wasn't my heart, it was that I was allowing it to lead me instead of me lead it. Love is a decision.... not an accident. I don't need to be afraid of it anymore.

I think I have been doing this all along this last time and didn't realize it. I've been guiding my heart and taking my time. No falling this time, just a gentle glide towards something and someone that is really good.

No..... he doesn't frighten me anymore.

(see 11/24/10, "Crashes.... Bears... & Flirts...")


  1. I had never thought about putting it into terms of leading your heart instead of it leading you. It is true- love is a decision, and it takes work beyond the initial flouries. I think I need to watch the movie too :)

  2. Bridgette,
    I believe Fawn said she has it, I'm sure she will let you borrow it. It is on my list of movies to get.