You know what? I think Heavenly Father feels I'm ready to overcome some of my fears.
You ask why I would say that? Because those fears are really becoming a nuisance to me. They seem to be growing and paralyzing me more. It is almost insane how things that used to not be a problem are now feeling like Mt. Everest to climb.
I have found that God's way of dealing with an issue is to put me in the fire. I definitely have been feeling the heat lately.
Take my interest in herbology. I am fascinated by natural medicine. I strongly believe that God put every answer to man's aliments on the earth in natural form. One example would be how whenever you find a poisonous plant in the wild, you will find it's antidote very close by. God knows what we need and he has taken care of us.
So how does this relate to my fears? I have a ridiculous fear of poisoning myself. I'm not talking about haphazardly eating whatever I find, I am talking about using proven medicinal herbs (often ones I have used for years) to help bring balance back to my body. Lately, I have become afraid of them. Lately the "what if's" have been screaming at me.
The "what if's" are voices given to what really is nonsense by the FDA. A government agency that is determined to control minute parts of our lives. I don't believe in the FDA, so why would I let those voices take root?
Probably because their voices sound way to close to my father's voice.
My dad instilled in me a fear of just about everything. He was afraid of botulism, so he did a pretty good job of making me afraid to can my own vegetables. He was afraid of a pressure cooker exploding, so now I just can't bring myself to use one. I have been given at least two in my life, both I gave away, unused.
I sometimes wonder if my dad were afraid of his own shadow. I'm not saying that in joke either. He had a lot of fears and I inherited a good amount of them.
Time to clean out my inheritance.
I won't say "bring it on", that would be just asking for trouble. I will say I am going to take a day at a time, spend more time leaning on my Heavenly Father who does know what is good or bad for me, and practice deep breathing.
6 months ago