It's another week. A new week. I am going to try hard to stay in the positive. I don't like it how I tend to spiral down into the negative.
I became quite negative when I was married to David. He is very negative, I think it comes with the addiction, and it began to leak out onto me. I didn't realize how negative I had become until someone brought it to my attention. OUCH!! At least I was receptive enough to listen and not become defensive.
A good way to remain positive is to count blessings... I have had so many. So here are a few...
Even though the car is broken, it didn't break down when I was out and about. It happened at home where I was safe and sound. Danny is having it towed and fixed. I live close enough to several stores (Target, Home Depot, and Fred Meyer) that I can walk if I really need something. And I have had a few friends tell me they will take me places if I need a ride.
My new ward is welcoming me with open arms. I think part of it is me, that I am finally becoming receptive to others, which in itself is a blessing I have prayed for. They tell me they are happy I am here.
I am now taking St. John's Wort, which seems to be stabilizing my mood. I am grateful Heavenly Father put herbs on the earth to help us.
I am grateful to be reconnecting with friends of my past. They are still friends. In a way I am feeling like I have made a full circle, and come back to the beginning. I went away for a time, was sent to the desert to heal. And I have healed a great deal. I have thought about all the times the Lord took His people to the wilderness or the desert so that He could work with them and heal them. He definitely worked with me and healed me. I wanted to come out of the desert and return the the lush green of Oregon for some time, but in prayer did not feel it was time. When the time finally came, I was thrilled, and gave thanks to God for blessing me.
I am not on this earth for life to be easy... I am here to learn how to return to my Father in Heaven. It has not been easy, but I have made progress. One of the things I really need to learn is how to live on faith. I want to learn to put my faith ahead of me and behind me like a shield, like a bubble. Surround myself in faith. And the faith is specific. It is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Faith that He lives, that He has the power to redeem me. Faith in my Savior that no matter what happens, He is bigger, stronger, more powerful than anything. I want my faith in Him to become bigger, stronger, and more powerful than anything that can happen to me.
And with that faith in Him, I will move forward and do the things I need to do, that He wants me to do. Because I WANT to do the things He wants me to do. Faith is not an stationary thing. It does not stay still. If it is not exercised through attitude and behavior, it will recede.
I know there is a plan in motion... I feel it. I do not know where or when it will end, or rather be complete. But I feel a Divine hand guiding me. I cannot deny that. I know He wants me to be happy. That happiness is based on Eternal happiness, not just earthly happiness. I do want the higher happiness.
So, when I get negative, it would be good to bring it to my attention. Kinda knock me on the side of the head and say "Sandy!! Count your blessings again!" I will be grateful you cared enough to set me back where I need to be.
5 months ago