I've been talking to my counselor about whether or not I am ready to start dating.... that is of course, assuming I might actually get asked out by someone.
She thinks I am ready, but cautioned me that stuff will probably get snagged. I have relationship issues big time, who wouldn't with what I have been through? The problem is that it just isn't possible to work through relationship issues without actually being in a relationship. So in other words, my relationship issues, which will probably bulldoze a relationship, cannot be overcome unless I am in a relationship... why do I feel like I am in a "Catch 22" situation?
I have decided that maybe the next step should be a less daring one. No relationship, just a friendship... You would think that might be easier than it is to accomplish.
I really don't think that I am a scary person. I may not be knock-out gorgeous, but I am not unpleasant to look at... I do smile... I do talk when approached... I have even been known to start conversations sometimes...I don't hide in the shadows... Then why does it seem so hard to find a guy who will be a friend?
There is the mountain man in Montana. He is nice, in a gruff, say-it-like-it-is kind of way. But Montana is pretty far to develop and maintain a friendship. My mom told me the other day that he asked about me. This is fine, but I was kinda hoping for someone a bit more local.
I've gone to the "singles functions" at church. But the people there seem to be either desperate females, or men who prey on desperate females ... or guys that are just too young. Even if I am looking for just a friendship, I think age does matter. I would like someone that I have things in common with. I just wasn't comfortable there, so I haven't gone back.
I've met a few single guys at church. Most ignore me... or avoid me. You'd think I was carrying the plague or something. Maybe being a single, middle-aged woman at church is the same as having the plague. Remember those singles functions I mentioned above... desperate females and all? I do not act desperate, all flirty and such, but I've seen the over-the-top flirting that goes on from a distance.
At least I don't think I act that way, once upon a time I used to, but I don't believe I do now. I pretty much take my cue and keep my distance and just watch.
So I'm really left with few options on how to meet someone. I decided to take this problem to my Heavenly Father, He would certainly know who I might be able to be friends with. I'll do what I can, but I think I really do need help in this area.
Maybe in a few months, after the Holidays are over, I might venture out again.
Geeze, why is it so hard to find a new friend?
5 months ago